Friday, June 15, 2012

Gail Collins, "Running On Empty": Swimming Pools Serve As Public Toilets

Empty? Indeed, another vacuous op-ed, and I'm being kind.

Gail Collins took several days away from the New York Times op-ed page and has just celebrated her grand return with "Running On Empty" (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/16/opinion/collins-running-on-empty.html), in which she tells us:

"Our biggest political division is the war between the empty places and the crowded places.

. . . .

The Tea Party is so Empty Places.

. . . .

Texas is so Tea Party.

. . . .

But until he dropped out of the race, varmint hunting was the dog on the roof of Romney’s 2008 campaign."

I'm wondering: If Texas is so Tea Party, is New York so Occupy Wall Street?

And once again, we have the "ingenious" segue leading up to her lame running joke concerning Romney's dog-on-the-roof story from 30 years ago. Hmmm, 30 years ago – that's about a year or two subsequent to the time when Obama was smoking weed with "The Choom Gang" (see: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012/post/the-choom-gang-president-obamas-pot-smoking-high-school-days-detailed-in-maraniss-book/2012/05/25/gJQAwFqEqU_blog.html), and a few short years prior to the time that Obama began his two-decade long relationship with the noxious Reverend Wright, but many years prior to Obama's foul smelling 2005 real estate transaction with Tony Rezko (see: http://jgcaesarea.blogspot.co.il/2012/04/maureen-dowd-brutality-of-servility.html).

But what is habitual weed smoking, prolonged association with a hatemonger pastor, or a questionable business deal with a convicted felon relative to dog-on-the-roof? After all, Romney is a . . . whisper when you say it . . . Republican.

With a New York Times bully pulpit from which she can pronounce upon the slaughter of innocents in Syria, new advances in medicine, or the pain of crushing unemployment throughout the US, Gail chooses each week to go where no man or woman has ever gone before to test the envelope of dog-on-the-roof.

Well, as long as we're talking about the worldliness of people living in "crowded places" such as New York, I wish to raise a new issue much in keeping with the Gail Collins's school of opinion pieces. As reported in a recent article entitled "Swimming Pools Are Public Toilet Bowls for Many: Survey" (http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/swimming-pools-public-toilet-bowls-many-survey-193700688.html) appearing in Yahoo! Shine:

"If you're taking a refreshing dip in a pool with four other people, odds are one of you is urinating. This is not gross-out myth, but cold, depressing fact from a recent survey conducted by the Water Quality & Health Council, a scientific research group sponsored by the American Chemistry Council.

The survey, conducted in April, asked nearly 1,000 adults whether they urinate in pools. One in five bravely admitted their mistakes. And those are the ones who admitted it."

Ah yes, the advantages of living with Gail in sophisticated crowded places! Pardon me if I avoid the community swimming pool this summer and find some other way to beat the heat.

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